I was on birth control pills for seven years without ever knowing I had hypothyroidism. There were signs, sure. My fingernails could never grow enough to show off those pretty white tips. My heart would frequently palpitate and every now and then I would get the sort of aura migraines that would replace my line of vision with sparkles. But these were never things I associated with pill, nor did my doctor for that matter, and I certainly never suspected my thyroid.
As we know, hormonal imbalances can become heightened when on the pill, but even though my migraines went away and my heart stopped doing flips, when I got off the pill, the symptoms of my hypothyroidism was evident. For one, I wasn’t having a period. I struggled with post-pill amenorrhea which is commonly associated with a haywire hormonal cocktail including low estrogen, low progesterone, and yes, low thyroid hormones. They all seem to play together, and not nicely at that.
So I started with the low hanging fruit, addressing my low estrogen on its own, but once my periods came back it became clear to me that it was my thyroid’s turn for the spotlight. I started with food (as we know it’s our fertile foundation). But because I believe endocrine imbalances so often stem from emotional causes I decided to look to my life for clues.
There were TONS. I knew it was life related but I couldn’t figure out which part. In working with a coach I started charting my dreams. One in particular had me pulling green goop from my mouth, chocking, and sputtering. The mouth, in dreams, is a powerful place. Especially when it is blocked (or you are choking). This can mean the inability to speak your mind, or share your calling in the world. Once I started thinking about my mouth I realized there might be a connection! I had started to develop tiny cysts on my lips. Unnoticeable to others, but baffling to myself. And whenever a breakout occurred, tiny bumps seemed to cluster around my mouth.
I thought about my mouth for days and meditated on what I might be holding back on. Then it dawned on me- MY THYROID! You see, our thyroid glands are beautifully situated right up against, you guessed it, your vocal chords (and your breathing pipe, but that’s a story for another day). Soooo interesting.
In typical fashion I went into Elle-style research mode and hit up all my favorite publications. Though there wasn’t much on the subject, Christiane Northrup’s masterpiece gave me one tiny clue, “Emotional or behavioral patterns such as learned helplessness, or not believing you can have your say, may predispose you to low thyroid.”
I knew it. I felt it in my body. I wasn’t speaking my truth. But if I wasn’t, what was my truth?
For me, a couple of things were going on. In my life I was struggling to accept motherhood. My husband and I had been talking children but I was absolutely terrified and could not for the life of my picture life as a mom. In my business I felt stifled. I was writing about getting women knocked up but resisting getting knocked up myself. On top of that, there was something about fertility that wasn’t sitting right with me. I didn’t write a thing for two weeks (and I’m an everyday-er), I didn’t put out a newsletter, and I couldn’t get myself to post on MindBodyGreen because I couldn’t bear the negative feedback that so often occurs when bearing your soul in public. I didn’t want to feel criticized for what I believed to be true. But what did I believe to be true?
One morning, through journaling, it struck me why I resisted motherhood and fertility. Because I wasn’t speaking my truth about them. To be honest, I don’t see myself as a mom because I don’t want to be a mom. And I struggle with being a fertility expert because I believe there is soooo much more to it than just having babies. I didn’t want to be trapped in the traditional fertility box. I wanted something different.
Realizing this lit a fire in my life and I knew exactly what I needed to do. I needed to share what I believe about fertility. Not what others believe, not what fertility expert’s should believe, but what I believe. I instantly began writing again and a book just started pouring out of me. The acne around my mouth disappeared and my mouth dreams were replaced with dreams of trains, automobiles, and going places. And yes, I believe all of this has a huge impact on my thyroid gland. By speaking my truth, even in the face of criticism, my thyroid has the opportunity to take healing to the next level.
Have you noticed a connection between your thyroid and your voice? Speak out!!!