You know the drill, we’re all body positive, self love, love-your-body-type gurus around here. And yet, sometimes it seems as though we’ve taken it too far. At least to me. After all, I believe there is something to be said for discomfort. For that feeling as though our bodies or lives aren’t quite as they should be. And lately, I’ve been feeling that way quite a bit.
I’ll put it bluntly, it’s just that, well, I’ve been feeling like a slob.
Perhaps I’ve been working in my pajamas too much. And maybe if I could get my brush through my much too bohemian hair, that would help. My wardrobe has been feeling a little lackluster lately, and honestly, I’ve been feeling a little bit broke. At least comparatively. But most of all, after 10 weeks of living a mostly sedentary lifestyle after breaking my foot in January, I put on a few pounds.
Sure, they could be seen as pretty pounds. And yes, all body types are beautiful. I could get all kinds of naked in front of my mirror and coo sweet love songs to my slightly more rotund figure. I could love my body. I could shout to the mountain tops about body diversity and body love. But honestly, I’m not feeling it. This is not the body I feel good in, plain and simple.
And that’s ok too.
Yes, body diversity is totally a thing, and it’s lovely, and needed, and wondrous, and all that. But if there’s an innate sense of dissatisfaction, in anything really, we can also choose to turn things around. When I realized I was starting to feel like a slob, I asked myself how I wanted to feel instead. And to be honest, I just wanted to feel like a power woman.
So I did what any power woman would do: When my pajamas just weren’t cutting it, I found places to go each day that would force me to get dressed and leave the house. When my hair started turning a little too hippy, I chopped it all off and bleached it all out. When my wardrobe began to feel a less chic, I purchased five new power house pieces that made me feel like Audrey Hepburn. And when my wallet felt empty, I started applying for power house positions (more on that soon!)
Finally, when my body felt too heavy and lethargic, I decided to eat a little less and move a little more. I eased back into my routine of walking everywhere and taking the stairs. I upped my ballet classes from one a week to three. I emphasized my vegetable side dishes and de-emphasized my meat portions. I removed the honey from my morning matcha lattes and drank one glass of wine each night instead of two.
And slowly but surely, I began to feel like myself again. The weight started to ease off, and that power house woman started to return. Can you feel like a power woman without losing the pounds? Of course. It’s not all about the weight at the end of the day. But is it also ok to be a little dissatisfied? Oh yes, absolutely!
Just like jealousy, dissatisfaction can be used to hate and berate ourselves. But it can also be used as a chance to see that which needs to change in our lives. And to take action towards changing it!
The goal isn’t a weight, after all, it’s a feeling. It’s what Mireille Guilliano calls feeling “bien dans sa peau” (good in one’s skin). And that just happens to be a few pounds less for me. Just like loving your body, wanting to lose some of it is ok too.